Queen of Jhasi

 When darkness surrounds me and I question my worthiness as a being

Surrounded by deep emotions of love of hurt of happiness and despair

My sense of reasoning weakened my desire to go on shattered from within

life mocking me as if death was the light beyond the tunnel with an overture of peace

 

Im supposed to be all mighty and powerful telling these dark thoughts to fuck off

Be the queen of jhasi of my own thoughts

I fail miserably day in day out but cant seem to reach out

For no one wants to know just how deep the darkness flows

 

Detachment, self-loathing, isolation and humiliation are my foes

Once a fierce warrior undefeated now a prisoner to my own thoughts

Seeking sanctuary in countless meme’s and videos to no ends

I am in a battlefield where I am my worst enemy battered, stripped delirious

intoxicated, exhausted and high as a kite looking for appeasement

bottle full of pills in hand and a glass full of the best rum money can buy

gazing into the abyss of life and death for we aren’t strangers at all
my whole life flashing before me, the good the bad and the ugly

 

then suddenly I hear my phone ring bringing me pack into the room and in my body

a quick glance at the screen, its someone I know battling similar dark thoughts

I recompose and put back on my armor for I am the queen of Jhansi

And pull back another wounded soldier from the battlefield

What could have been 2 dead bodies are inherently keeping each other alive