The thief

 You watched my wounds, then struck me undone

You turned our soft world to a wound through to run

You couldn't bear I had found my peace

So you came raging wild and ceased

to care for anything but your own bruised pride

You burned the bridge where our two souls had collide

You ripped her away before we even began

Punched my lungs till breath and hope were done

You dug through lives you had no right to see

Just to make sure no joy remained for me

This is a punishment worse than death could be

To lose the one who fit my soul so perfectly

All because your selfish heart can't let go

And turns pure love to ash and bitter woe

You stole what wasn't yours to take or break

And left me gasping for the life you chose to shake

A bleeding carcass, an empty shell!

From tracing constellations side by side

To tears, tears where all my hope has died

Time has taken you, torn you away

Ripped you right out of my chest so you can't stay

It punctured my lungs and air won't flow

Now every breath is pain and woe

Time stole you, left me here to dwell

A bleeding carcass, an empty shell

This is no loss, no common grief

This punishment past belief

Worse than any death could be

To live and know you're lost to me 

Tracing you!

We talked till dawn, our hearts laid bare

I lied about your skin just to touch you 

you bought me food and medicine each night 

healed my cough and made everything right

We traced constellations on backs, sipped gin slow

Where Popeyes steam and time just flew

You fell for me, and I fell too, hard

Never knew love could feel so true from start

Now back home far from it all

You are still the beat inside my soul

Old ghosts came screaming, stirred up fear

Tore at what we held so dear

We let go not cause our love grew thin

But to keep each other safe from harm within

A Chance stolen before it could start

I carry you still in my bleeding heart 

Echoes of a stranger strobnger than poison

I whispered te amo a sacred sound But you turned away let the silence drown The word I had given so raw and true And said it was something you couldn't construe For you to believe I had played you so A master of lies in a one-week show You trusted a voice on a phantom line A shadow you'd never call mine This stranger this ghost with a poisonous tongue Whose story from nowhere so quickly was sung You held up their fiction a weight I can't hold Against the warm truth that our one week had told We painted our futures in the soft fading light We shared all our dreams in the deep of the night You knew my fears the hopes I held dear And you let them all shatter on the words of this smear One call, just one call from a voice you don't know Was enough to make all of our shared moments go To make you doubt me to make you turn cold To believe the dead tales that my past has now told

 

She weaves her old poison a familiar art To tear us apart to shatter my heart And you, my dear love with a week in your hand Let a strangers whisper make you take a stand You chose the echo of someone you've never met Over the love that I can't forget And I am left with the words you denied And the love that in your doubt so painfully died

home and want that taste one last time

Queen of Jhasi

 When darkness surrounds me and I question my worthiness as a being

Surrounded by deep emotions of love of hurt of happiness and despair

My sense of reasoning weakened my desire to go on shattered from within

life mocking me as if death was the light beyond the tunnel with an overture of peace

 

Im supposed to be all mighty and powerful telling these dark thoughts to fuck off

Be the queen of jhasi of my own thoughts

I fail miserably day in day out but cant seem to reach out

For no one wants to know just how deep the darkness flows

 

Detachment, self-loathing, isolation and humiliation are my foes

Once a fierce warrior undefeated now a prisoner to my own thoughts

Seeking sanctuary in countless meme’s and videos to no ends

I am in a battlefield where I am my worst enemy battered, stripped delirious

intoxicated, exhausted and high as a kite looking for appeasement

bottle full of pills in hand and a glass full of the best rum money can buy

gazing into the abyss of life and death for we aren’t strangers at all
my whole life flashing before me, the good the bad and the ugly

 

then suddenly I hear my phone ring bringing me pack into the room and in my body

a quick glance at the screen, its someone I know battling similar dark thoughts

I recompose and put back on my armor for I am the queen of Jhansi

And pull back another wounded soldier from the battlefield

What could have been 2 dead bodies are inherently keeping each other alive

My pants my lover

Yes i said it my pants is my lover. We seem to be inseparable since childhood. It fits me comfortably and i never felt better in anything else. Since I was a very active child it meant I could do almost anything with worrying about being indecent. It also was a better option to wearing layers of clothing compared to wearing dresses and skirts. Can u imagine wearing nylon tights as well as skirts on a hot day? I would have been covered in sweat within minutes and probably need to squeeze my underwear too. Wearing pants meant a sense of security to me. I always knew that no one could blame me for flashing my knickers to them.

But it wasn’t easy being in pants all day every day, as I have been called names just because I loved to be in them.

Growing up in a urban setting one expects the population to be more open minded and adaptive. And mind you i only lived 10 minutes away from the Suva city. Yet my upbringing was quiet conservative.

I remember being told that women and girls belonged in the kitchen and always needed to dress “appropriately”.

Appropriately! What does that even mean?

As far as my understanding goes I think pants combined with tops or tee shirts is the most decent form of clothing. It covers all the parts that needs to be covered pretty well don’t you think?

Yet i was always labelled as a tomboy just because i loved pants.

I mean seriously is that the best that one could come up with!

Quiet interestingly more recently a few say my sexuality is highly dependent on my love for wearing pants all my life. This statement seriously makes me gasp as it is by far the one i have heard

Can you imagine pulling every lesbian on the side and asking them if they are queer because they loved wearing pants mostly?

Gender stereotyping has become such a sham and it’s so un-cool. So does this mean that the Pacific men who wear sulu are somewhat queer?

In today’s modern world it is unbelievable how the societies are petrified in patriarchal and gender biased norms.

Nevertheless my love for pants is for eternity and quite frankly a subtle fight against gender stereotyping

I woke up in the morning ready to face the day

Excited about what would unfold i just couldn’t stay

For it was indeed the month of may

When rainbows shined and there were no shades of grey

I walk out of the house telling myself I need to chill out

For i am too radical too out proud and fucking loud

I try to lay low and blend in the crowd

Trying so hard oh so hard not to make a sound

Walking down the street I hear lesbian bitch

I think I heard wrong I give myself a pinch

Bloody Indian sucking on our blood just like a leech

You are an embarrassment go die in a fucking ditch

Lying here lonely bruised and cold

No ones hand to reach out and hold

For I got punished tonight for being bold

And to the devil my soul i sold

While I lay down in my overly decorated casket

Just like cut out flowers laid down in a basket

You bid me farewell with a rainfall of tears

Promising to stand up and fight for the queers

But hold on back it up for a second

Where were you when my spirit was broken

Where were you when harsh words were spoken

When i was used just like a token

As I lay down in my resting place

And you bless me with your presence and grace

While I exit  from earth without a trace

Will you promise to love respect and embrace the gays?

VAW in memory of Joytika Singh

One billion women raped murdered and tortured in the world

This big mathematical number doesn't sound alarming no more

For today we have lost one of our very own

A victim to the atrocities and violence against women in movies usually shown

Today! This very day i sit and ponder where did we go wrong

We as women, as society, we as a country and its citizens

How did we fail a great women teacher and friend

A victim to the atrocities and violence against women in movies usually shown

Today! This very day I stand shamefully apologizing to you JOY

And how I wish as a young women, society and country we hadn't delayed

Delayed to teach our citizens violence against women doesn't make one a man

A victim to the atrocities and violence against women through the patriarchal plan

Today! This very day my blood is boiling for we lost a great human rights advocate

Let’s all make sure JOY’s death isn't just part of statistics that fade away

I humbly plead to people far and wide across seas and clear blue skies

Let this death be the last one of its kind, together lets strike and rise.